The Hair and Makeup

In the beginning I felt opposed to getting my hair and makeup professionally done, but after much contemplation and phone conversations with my best friend, Rupa, I decided to go ahead and do it. The only place I could think of was Elements in Balance. (I would've gone to Coyote, my regular spot, but they don't offer makeup or nails services). I told Jessica from Elements (see her makeup work in the photo above) that I felt really nervous looking "over done" but she assuaged my fears and promised I'd have exactly what I wanted.

I'll spare you all the details of what has gone into the hair and makeup trials, but I must say that I made the right decision. Have I spent too much money on Aveda products? Probably. But what the heck. (Thanks for paying for it, Mom!) And yes, my skin looks better than ever. Plus I love my new make-up brush, and this from a girl who barely wears makeup.

Postdata: The hair and make-up looked so good the day of! Everything turned out beautiful and stress-free when it came down to the final hour. Definitely the right decision. Here's a big shout out to Jessica (make-up) and Bridgette (hair)!

The "Rehearsal" Dinner

We had the "Rehearsal" Dinner at El Parador. I love their "Tropical Garden" motif and it's a significant venue for me as a staple of Spanish Department nightlife.

There was nothing really to rehearse, since we didn't have a wedding party, but it was be a good way to spend some special time with our family who have flew in. It will the first time our moms met. I was suprised that they didn't have some sort of secret handshake. (Yes, they are both Lutheran, Midwestern social workers. Weird, I know.)

I thank Ryan for that shot of Patron.

The Officiant and our New Church (???)

This is our baby/dog being baptized/blessed by Rev. Lee Morrison at Saint Francis in the Foothills United Methodist Church. Lee Morrison is the Spiritual Director of the church and the officiant of our upcoming wedding.

We started going to this church a few months ago, basically looking for an officiant. Andrew and I both come from a Lutheran background but don't feel especially churchy for what I guess are the regular reasons. That doesn't mean we've completely abandoned spirituality, though. Au contraire. (His mom calls us "Neo-Lutherans".)

When we went to Saint Francis and heard Rev. David Wilkinson speak for the first time, I was hooked for several reasons, but mostly because he worked "postmodernism" into the commentary. With articles like "St. Francis UMC of Tucson: Strange Theology Unrecognizable to Most Christian UMs" floating around the internet, I should have known I was going to love it.

It's a ministry based on inclusiveness, fragmentation, diversity and openness while at the same time being committed to unity and social justice - well, why don't you just read the mission statement.

There are basically three reasons why Andrew and I (I think I speak for both of us) find ourselves doing something we didn't foresee: going to church regularly.

1) This is a church that accepts that there are as many different paths to God as there are people. Until now, I had never been to any other church that isn't out to prove that theirs is the only true path or theirs the only true religion.

2) This is a church that was founded on the importance of breaking down church power hierarchy by giving members an active, leadership role. During the "sermon" we aren't passive receivers of the message, but rather are passed a microphone and encouraged to make the moment a two-way dialog by sharing our thoughts and feelings. Granted, this doesn't mean the power is totally balanced, but it is a happy medium for those who still feel most comfortable with a semi-traditional service set up. Not to mention, in my case, my relationship with "God" has been mostly intimate and private - much easier to blog about it than to speak about it in front of a congregation!

Speaking of power hierarchies, this church is very careful about removing as much of that turn-off language as they can. The reason why I didn't follow through with confirmation in the Lutheran church when I was a teenager? The handbook was so loaded with patriarchal language and ideology from page one that I basically gagged. (For more on this, check out this Arizona Daily Star article: "'Lord' is fading at some churches"

3) Every Sunday we've been to Saint Francis so far, Andrew and I come out feeling emotionally moved and intellectually challenged. Every time we feel the message is relevant to our lives - and frequently to something we've been discussing that same week. We walk out with a lot to talk about.

I'm not saying that I know much about the congregation yet or that I think the leaders are flawless or that the theology is perfect...no way. That would be dangerous to think or say. But I do believe that we all have a spiritual appetite that we need to feed to stay healthy. There are many ways to satisfy one's spirit, and St. Francis is one of those worth trying.

La Musica

At first we wanted Mariachis; I particularly wanted an all-female thirty piece Mariachi band clad in pink like I saw open a Lila Downs concert, but alas, we couldn't afford that.

We took our time eating and drinking repeatedly at Guadalajara Grill (good), La Fuente (mediocre), and Las Casuelitas (just had the flan, but it was awesome). We loved Mariachi Saldivar, but we also heard Mariachi Mixteca, which wasn't bad, but not our thing. I have one key song that I use to judge how I like a Mariachi band, and it's "No Volvere". We had a trio - Trio Hermanos Estrada - play it one night at La Fuente, just for kicks. They blew it out of the water. I didn't even know I wanted a trio until I heard them.

We took their card and bought their CD "Gran Amigo El Rey" dedicated to the memory of their dear friend who had died of cancer. In the liner notes it begins, "About fifteen years ago, we were fortunate to meet Mark Capin, who was accompanied by a beautiful woman, for whom he asked us to play several songs. A few days later he requested more songs, but this time they were for another beautiful woman...and then another...and another..." Sexist, I know. But how quickly that little liner note pulls you into the story of these characters: a womanizing southwestern cowboy and three Mexican musicians!

Needless to say, the CD sounds as good as they do live. We met the trio later at Guadalajara Grill, and decided on "Novia Mia" as the "wedding march". It will be surreal having them playing for us at our wedding.

After the trio goes home, the DJ starts heating it up! Andrew and I have actually already mixed an eclectic four hours of music,(everything from Ella Fitzgerald to Chemical Brothers), but we'll be sure to carve a slot for DJ Cresencio to bust out his Latin beats. When I was a clueless first semester graduate student three years ago, I would have never guessed the same grad student who was coaching me through day one would be deejaying my wedding one day! (I was so confused I kept referring to him as Constancio.) Thanks so much Cresencio and Jose!

The Music From Our Youth

Thank God for the internet! Now I can include all these classics from our youth in Paraguay for the wedding playlist!

Here's my complete list so far:

La Lambada - Kaoma
Ritmo de la noche – The Sacados
Mil Horas – The Sacados
Sabes Mi Numero - The Sacados
No le dijo nada - Los Ladrones Sueltos
La rubia del avion – Los Ladrones Sueltos
Bye Bye - Villa Palma e Vampiros
La Pachanga - Villa Palma e Vampiros
Vamos a la playa - Righeira
Sopa de Caracol - Banda Blanca
Que Te La Pongo - Garibaldi
Locomia - Locomia
Rumba Samba Mambo - Locomia
Loco Vox - Locomia
Ven, Devorame Otra Vez - Azucar Moreno
Solo se Vive una Vez - Azucar Moreno
Muevelo - El General
Te Ves Buena - El General
La danza de la botella - Joe Luciano
Lanza Perfume - Rita Lee
El pozo ciego - Fabulosos Cadillacs
Musica Ligera - Soda Stereo
Lamento Boliviano - Enanitos Verdes
Amigos - Enanitos Verdes

Let me know if you can think of any others, guayos....

The Invitations and The Website

If you're interested in how we did the invitations, Andrew created them on Macromedia Fireworks. We made them JPGs and attached them to emails to our guests, including a link to the website which Andrew also designed, andrewandeva.com. Pretty neat, huh?

The Eco-Friendly Wedding?

This is a photo of the view from the reception site. It reveals the gorgeous wild landscape of the Tucson foothills. Will our wedding be a force of preservation or destruction?

My dear friend Rupa sends me articles about wedding industry trends, which I am obviously interested in analyzing at this time. (See websites like indiebride.com for more.) The other day she sent me a link to a story from the Washington Post called "Wedded to Green" and awesomely enough, our wedding plans scored pretty well on the green scale - at first glance. Then I realized that on a larger scale, maybe not.

While some brides and grooms are using hybrid cars instead of Hummer limos, we're getting shuttles to move all our guests together and at once, cutting back on petrol use, the temptation to drive drunk and the potential for getting lost on unfamiliar roads. That said, 80% of our guests are flying in, which probably trumps any resources that we're saving otherwise.

In the paper department, we may not have printed invitations with soy ink on paper made of 100 percent post-consumer waste, but we did better, I think, by dumping the traditional invitations and mailed response cards completely. We used e-mail invites and RSVPs.

Some couples ask retailers not to wrap gifts in yards of paper and ribbons that will just be thrown away; our gifts will require nearly zero packaging, being that our gift registry basically states "send money!". We totally saved ourselves the guilt of whatever unsavory impacts certain retailers may be having on the environment, or society for that matter. However, we still could've done better, like the couple who invited their guests to donate to a small foundation they established to help children in Zambia.

While many couples now ask where flowers for the bouquets and centerpieces are coming from and whether they have been organically grown using fair-trade practices, these are not concerns of ours. We're using traditional Mexican hand crafted paper flowers - which last much longer!

In terms of what I'm doing to encourage fair trade, my dress, jewelry and the favors were hand made by Paraguayan folk artists who were justly compensated by me in dollars. (That said, I still saved a bundle.)

I sadly admit, however, that I cannot ensure that all the food that will be served is locally grown or organic, and as of now I am not sure how the trash is going to be recycled.

Although the Washington Post article quotes Rebecca Mead saying "Sure, it's easier to be green when you're affluent," she also agrees that the most ecologically sensitive way to throw a wedding is to have a small one. I think I've demonstrated right here how a couple can be cheap AND green! But seriously, if a couple truly wants to be green, my vote is commit to simplicity and small numbers.