The Marriage License

"The nuclear family does not have a transcendent ennobling power. The fact that ideology and the ideology of marriage have developed in the West since the English revolution of the seventhenth century has something like a relationship to the rise of meritocratic individualism." - Gayatri Spivak

The law is that when you fill out the affidavit for marriage at the courthouse, they make the official State of Arizona Marriage Handbook available to you. It includes sections such as "Aggressive Confrontation", "Coping with Family Challenges", "Walking Rocky Roads", "Being Safe During a Violent Outburst" and "Ending a Marriage".

Perhaps because of it's foreboding table of contents, on page two it reads:

"This handbook supports your decision to get married!...Marriage is a crucial cornerstone of society. It should provide a lifetime of happiness...Marriage is a crucial cornerstone of society"

I didn't cite that wrong. It's really written that way.

The fact of the matter is, this society loves the institution of marriage, even despite the fact that the divorce rate in the U.S. is between 40% and 50%. Why was everyone so happy about our engagement and now, our wedding? My extended circle of friends and acquaintances never emailed me so promptly - not even when I got into grad school! Why is that even the State of Arizona, who doesn't know me or Andrew, is "supportive of our decision to marry"?

If "marriage is a crucial cornerstone of society", then is it a garnet, an emerald, or a cubic zirconium?

I guess I'm still thinking about what functionality marriage has in society at large. As for me, the only reason why I'm getting married is so that I can quote Roberta Flack to Andrew on October 27th: "Tonight, I celebrate my love for you."