Saturday, November 3, 2007
The Honeymoon
Andrew and I were pretty much all planned out by the time thoughts of a honeymoon came up, so basically we just agreed to pack a suitcase and hit the road without committing to where we were even going. With only four days to travel, we thought about New Mexico. My friend Elise had suggested Silver City, so that's where we headed first. We didn't even get out of Tucson until around three, so we hit Silver City after dark. Fortunately we had Kate and Ray's AA guide with us, so we called in a Bear Creek cabin in Pinos Altos. Luckily, they had a vacancy. (Picture of the Bear Creek office above.)
The cabins were so cute and cozy! Perfect for a honeymoon. Art, who checked us in, suggested we go to The Buckhorn Saloon for dinner (pictured below). It turned out to be a cool old place full of antique mining boom days paraphernalia. There was even a contract on the wall signed by Porfirio Diaz himself! We knew the place was gonna be good when we almost parked in a spot that had a sign over it reading: "For witches only - all others will be TOAD", not to mention the fact that Modest Mouse was playing at the bar. I bought a Buckhorn sweatshirt.
The next day we went into Silver City for breakfast. We ended up eating at Nancy's Silver Cafe, which was kinda cool because it was obviously a townie spot, but the food was a not so good. I've made better huevos rancheros myself. We went to the Silver City Museum and it began to dawn on us that the old west mining town thing was going to become the theme of our honeymoon. (Check out the photo below of old-timey stuff from the museum.)
It wasn't long before I was reading every area tourism magazine and pamphlet I could get my hands on (in an old-timey cadence, of course.) I found out that there was a significant Mogollon ruin nearby, so we drove the Trail of the Mountain Spirits Scenic Byway to the Gila Cliff Dwellings.
The drive is really beautiful and the dwellings are fascinating. If you're thinking of visiting, don't miss the trail off Lower Scorpion Campground on your way out. There's another dwelling there and a whole slew of petroglyph like the ones pictured below.
By the time we finished with the dwellings, we were getting hungry and tired, so we chose the closest place to lodge for the night. It turned out to be Deming, New Mexico. I seemed to recall that we had stopped in Deming for lunch when we moved to Tucson. "Really? Well, what do you remember?" Andrew asked.
"All I remember is that it was kind of a one horse town."
I was right.
We didn't want to stay at the regular motel eight, so we opted instead for the Grand Motor Inn. Our predilection for off-beat lodging has sometimes gotten Andrew and I in trouble, and this was no exception. We walked in to find gold-lame wallpaper and faux wood paneling in the lounge; Shania Twain blasting from the tavern; and old career waitresses in the restaurant - you know the kind who are so crusty and depressed they can barely crack a smile anymore? That kind. We left a hearty tip.
We were so tired and hungry that we barely cared about the quality of the food or the sad ambiance. Needless to say, however, we didn't opt for seconds. The place did - to state a redeeming quality - have free wifi. We went to our room, drank wine out of a box and surfed the net - which builds up an appetite. At 11:00 pm we began to crave pizza and were infuriated to no end that none of the pizza joints in town would deliver at that "ungodly" hour! There was plenty of gnashing of teeth and shaking of fists in our room that night.
The next morning we went to the Sunrise Cafe for breakfast. I was wearing one of my Paraguay tee shirts, which our waitress noticed immediately. The Mexican restaurateur sat us down and excitedly asked me if I had any Paraguayan folk music, which she loves but can't find anywhere. She asked me to come back and sell her some, to which I replied that we were traveling, upon which she wrote down her mailing address and handed me a twenty dollar bill. I refused the money and told her I could certainly send her a CD for free, especially being that I rarely run across anyone who knows a thing about Paraguayan folk music. She told us the story of her Filipino "uncle" who played violin for her and her sisters when they were young. Apparently he also brought them Paraguayan and Hawaiian music recordings, which forever ring in their memories, associated with his kindness, (because the man brought them bags of grilled cheese sandwiches and strawberries, among other things, when the girls were so young and poor.) The two Mexican sisters of Deming told us many stories, but the one about the Filipino man who loved Paraguayan music and was finally reunited with his Filipino wife and daughter after fleeing the country 43 years earlier was the best story of them all.
So Deming wasn't a complete bust after all. We went to Joe Perk for road coffee (the same coffee shop we had stopped at three years prior on our first run-in with Deming), but alas, the coffee was a not so good.
Our next stop: Elephant Butte. We had read that the lake was the largest and most popular of all New Mexico, and it didn't seem like we had enough time to go all the way to Albuquerque, so Elephant Butte is was. First we drove through Truth or Consequences (which the natives call T or C), and Andrew got all excited because it advertised an antique auto museum. Unfortunately, the truth was it was closed and the consequences: disappointment number two.
We went on to Elephant Butte Lake (as pictured below - can you make out the elephant?) to find nobody there. "How is this the most visited lake in New Mexico?" we wondered. Maybe its heyday was over. We later came to find that the water level was extremely low due to an eight year drought, among other things.
Low water or not, that couldn't keep me from renting a two-person "sea kayak" and dragging Andrew onto the lake with me. We saw some birds and a great deal of jumping fish, but in general the landscape was pretty barren - not that much to see. But I had paid for a three hour rental and that's what I was going to get, gosh darnnit. Turns out the kayak had a crack in it, and was taking on water - not enough to sink it, but enough to make it twice as difficult to paddle. After just under two hours we finally got it back to Marina del Sur. I was feeling fine until we got back in the car. Then I was hit by heatstroke and dehydration I think, because suddenly I felt like complete ass. Poor Andrew drove us around, looking for a place to have dinner, until he finally found one and upon walking in the door and getting a whiff of the aromas from the buffet I almost hurled. We had to turn around and walk out, but not before Andrew got a tip for lodging from the waitress. Fortunately, the Elephant Butte Inn turned out to be quite nice. Andrew checked us in and dragged my sorry ass to bed. After a fifteen minute nap I was fine.
When we went down to the restaurant, (Ivory Tusk), we realized it was Halloween because some people in costumes started coming in to have a drink at the bar. We got a special kick out of the guy pictured below (Bob), who was dressed as - and acting like - a retired Hooter's girl.
I forgot to mention that we would've stayed in the 1940s "cabins" near the Elephant Butte Damn Site if we could've found a person to rent them out: very cute vintage lodging with a perfect lake view. (Call 575-894-2073 for reservations.)
The day after Halloween we thought about getting a spa treatment at the Ivory Spa ($125 for a two hour wrap! What a deal!) but we had heard about a ghost town 45 miles away. The lady at the Elephant Butte Lake office had spoke highly of a place named Chloride and gave us a brochure. She said it would be open and there was more to see than in some of the ghost towns and "living ghost towns" we had been to.
A living ghost town is a town that likely got its start as a mining camp in the 1800s but is still on the map - people still live there. Sometimes you can find original buildings from the Old West period still standing. Sometimes they are marked, sometimes they ain't. For example, Monticello, Cuchillo, Winston and Hillsboro are all living ghost towns, but you might not even realize it passing through because there aren't always historical markers of any sort.
As it was, we drove through Cuchillo and really wanted to eat at the Cuchillo Cafe or browse in the Cuchillo Bar and Store (original building) - but alas, both were closed. Anyhoo, when we finally got to Chloride, we weren't let down. The museum owners were very kind and informative. The museum is actually the "Pioneer Store", which the owners bought after it had been boarded up for seventy years - full of period artifacts, spiders, and rat and bat poop. They painstakingly cleaned it all out, cleaned up all the artifacts and then put them all back again! Here are some of the artifacts on display, including Chloride's first radio in the background.
We also checked out the oldest building in town; Harry Pye's cabin. It is now a two bedroom vacation cabin available for rent.
Our final stop was Chloride's Greenwood Cemetery on the top of a hill (the sign off the main street just reads "Cemetery"). We had to hike up to it, since the road was so bad. The variety in headstones was perhaps the most intriguing part. Some of the headstones were very old, some were new. Some had the regular info, others just said "killed by indians" or nothing at all. The very old and the very young were buried there. Perhaps even the wealthy (judging from the marble headstones) and the poor (judging from the painted plywood headstone).
Perhaps one of the most impressive things about Chloride is the near absolute silence. It's sort of in the middle of nowhere, so there is no road noise, air traffic, etc. Only eleven people live there now. In fact, it's so still that a herd of deer walk right through town every day. (They say the young ones are fun to watch when they get to playing.)
The Gifts
This pic, courtesy of PurpleFlor, is of my sister's gift to us, which we used for our "guest book."
Yes, we got some pretty cool gifts, but I'm being completely genuine when I say this: the best gift was having people there.
As far as the second-best gift goes, getting help paying for our wedding was pretty damn sweet.
To all of you who gave gifts, you'll be getting personalized thank you cards soon, but in the meantime, be proud in the knowledge that after all our gifts have been deposited, Andrew and I will only have about $1,500 of wedding expenses left to pay off. ISN'T THAT AWESOME!!!??? You played a pivotal role in helping this couple begin their marriage with minimal credit card debt.
Personally, I think this is wonderfully important, especially when you consider the stats on debt in the United States today. (See sites like feedthepig.org for more info.)
I also wanted to say that every gift, from the shortest email to the biggest check, is important to me - so thanks. Really. I was as touched by the crisp twenty dollar bill from rural Iowa as I was the bank-issued three hundred dollar check from the nation's capital.
The Day After
Luckily, Andrew and I were able to set aside time to spend with special guests the next day. We had breakfast with our friends who had flown in from Chicago and DC at The Marriott (great waffles and orange juice, by the way). We had lunch with my family at Sushi Garden (not as good as Sushi King, but the King was closed), and I even got to take them to the DeGrazia Gallery (photo above) and to watch the sun set at Gate's Pass. We had Magpie's Pizza with Andrew's family at their hotel before they crashed after a day at Colossal Caves. It was special to share a little extra time with some of the people who had flown in to share our big day with us. I only regret not being able to hang out with all of them!
The Big Day
I must say that when the big day finally came, I was glad to have enough presence of mind to take photos of me and my dog.
My tips for brides to be: get everything squared away and handed off so you have as few responsibilities as possible the day of, because once it starts rolling, it's a delightfully intoxicating whirlwind on one incredible moment right after another. It goes so fast, you barely have time to register what is going on. Be in the moment and enjoy. I was lucky that the only time I got nervous was while I was in the dressing room, and that faded as soon as Andrew and I were face to face in front of Rev. Morrison. Then I just couldn't stop crying - a totally different problem.
How did it all turn out? Not everything went as I expected, but as a whole, it was great. Andrew and I had so much fun, and a number of our guests said it was the best wedding they had ever been to or something to that extent, which was absolutely music to our ears.
If you are like me - who wasn't always that convinced about the whole "wedding thing" - I gotta tell you that it's really worth it. To spend one day affirming and celebrating the love between you and your partner, sharing that with your closest family and friends, (not to mention sharing good music, food and drink)...how could you go wrong?
The Reading: Kahlil Gibran
Photo courtesy of ???
This is Rupa and I. Rupa read the following from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran for the ceremony:
Then Almitra spoke again and said, "And what of Marriage, master?"
And he answered saying:
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
The Processional
The song we choose as the processional, was a Bolero performed by Trio Hermanos Estrada entitled "Novia Mía". It was originally composed by Zacarias Ferreiras. Here are the lyrics:
Esta novia mía, va a ser mi tormento
de noche y de día, no sé lo que siento.
Cara tan bonita,
cara tan bonita va ser mi tormento.
Novia mía, novia mía, cascabel de plata y oro
tienes que ser mi mujer, novia mía, novia mía,
por tu cara de azucena, mucho te voy a querer
Por llevarte a los altares, cantaré con alegría
que sin ti no quiero a nadie
novia mía, novia mía,
novia mía, novia mía.
The Ceremony
Photo courtesy of PurpleFlor Photography.
I realize that our guests may like to know what exactly our ceremony consisted of, since I was barely able to whisper my vows loud enough for Andrew to hear them. So here's a transcription of our ceremony:
(Processional played by trio.)
Greeting by Rev. Morrison:
We come together this beautiful fall afternoon to share in the celebration of marriage of Andrew David Haberbosch and Eva Karene Romero. family and friends, we gather in faithfulness to offer our promise to be helpful and supportive of the commitment they make today. And we come to share in the joy of the way their friendship has deepened into a promise to spend their lives together.
Both families are here to give their blessing to this marriage. And friends have an important role in helping their love endure. Today we have this candle as a remembrance of Andrew's father David and stepfather Douglas who are here in spirit. Family and friends, give them your prayers, your words of encouragement, as we affirm our belief in love and commitment.
Questions of intention:
Do you, Andrew/Eva take Eva/Andrew to be the husband/wife of your days, to love and to cherish, to honor and to comfort, in sorrow or in joy, in hardship and in ease, to have and to hold from this day forth?
(We did.)
This marriage touches each one of us. A new family is established in our midst. Do you, who are family and friends, affirm your continuing support and love to Andrew and Eva as they grow and deepen in this marriage?
(They did.)
(Rupa and Chick signed the marriage certificate.)
Prayer:
God, you are creator of life and love, you have given Eva and Andrew the grace and gift of marriage. Be with them now in their life, and fill their days with wisdom and joy and abundant life. May the love these two have found grow in meaning and strength until its beauty is shown in a common devotion to all that is compassionate and life giving. May the spirit of your love help brighten the face of the earth. May the source of all love touch and bless us and grace our lives with color and courage. Amen.
Reading of "On Marriage" by Kahlil Gibran delivered by Rupa Shenoy.
Meditation:
This is a happy and holy moment, and your marriage will be the most sacred and treasured part of your lives. It is a celebration of all the mystery and wonder that deep love can bring to living. Andrew and Eva, you speak of having companionship and also respect for each others individuality. I ask you to remain loyal to these qualities. I remind you to re-choose each other every day. And I remind you of the responsibility of keeping alive this relationship: to maintain the capacity for wonder, for spontaneity, for humor. To remain flexible and warm and sensitive. Give fully to each other, show your real feelings to each other. Save time every day for each other. And as you grow in loving each other more fully, may you discover out of this love a love for all creation in which the mystery of your love has happened.
Vows:
In the name of God, I Eva/Andrew take you, Andrew/Eva to be my husband/wife. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as we both shall live. This is my solemn vow.
Presentation of Rings:
Your wedding rings serve as a symbol of the promise you have made to each other. It is the symbol of your hearts bound together. It is the finest of earth's metals, just as your love is the richest of spiritual values. AS this ring has no seam or edge, has no beginning or end, so it symbolizes your eternal love.
Ring Vows:
Eva: In token and pledge of our constant faith and abiding love, with this ring, I thee wed.
Andrew: May it keep you ever in my heart and mind when we are absent from each other.
Andrew: In token and pledge of our constant faith and abiding love, with this ring, I thee wed.
Eva: May it keep you ever in my heart and mind when we are absent from each other.
Announcement of Marriage:
Andrew and Eva, you have said your vows, you have given and recieved rings as the symbol of your love. We have all witnessed your commitment. You are now married, and you may kiss as husband and wife.
(We kissed.)
Blessing:
We rejoice with you in this deepening of your relationship. We joyfully and willingly promise to uphold you in your life together, with our friendship, love and prayers. Let your life together be a source of strength and inspiration to the community of your family and friends and the wider circle of the world.
I present to you Andrew and Eva, husband and wife!
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